Inter-caste Marriages- The great Indian disposition.

Pre-script- I've penned down this post for sharing my views with you, as well as letting out my anger regarding the topic. Your views are most welcome! :)

As I had mentioned in one of my previous posts, that I will be writing a few pieces on 'wedding', and the various happening at my place, the emotional aspect, ideologies of the people regarding this sacred tie, here I'm to tell you about the hot debate going on between the two sets of people, regarding the inter-caste marriages.
So let me start from my home itself!

Caste-system has been a rigid aspect if the Indian society since ever. It has made our tradition unfair and prejudiced.
Our elders have an orthodox mindset and are skeptical about the survival of such weddings due to the cultural differences. And it brings disgrace to one's family, is what they say and believe. There is loss of reputation, and torture at the hands of the society.

On the other hand, we, the people of my generation, that is me and my cousins are totally in the favor of love marriages and inter-caste marriages.
Discrimination on the basis of caste and religion would pose a threat to social equality, peace and brotherhood. It hamper unity among the people of the nation.

The elders in my family are too much concerned about the talks of the people. 'What would people say?' is the big question that dominates their views and is the major reason behind their cynicism. They fail to see the love and dedication of the two people towards each other. I've been a part of many inter-caste weddings of my distant relatives. The atmosphere is weird. Everyone in the two families is wearing a fake smile. From the inside, everyone is sad, depressed, unhappy with this tie. Why do they have to react like this? I mean, it is something you cannot stop from happening. You cannot stop two people from loving each other. You cannot put an end to their desire to live their lives together. Then why not accept it, and be happy and celebrate?

Parents should be happy that their child has chosen a right person for himself/herself. Right person here implies the one who is ready to get committed wholeheartedly, and be loyal to the partner for the life-time.

This is not the story of my family alone, it is the story of the majority of people in the Indian society.
The question in my mind is, 'Why?' Why we are so much against such marriages? What is wrong in loving a person who doesn't belong to your community? Is he an alien from the Mars?
No! He is also a human being who is made of the same bone and flesh. Why can't we think above all this discrimination? Just because we are worried what people would say?

I say...whom would you put first? Your very own kids? Or the society that will come only to dine at the wedding, talk, comment, leave and forget? How far would you go to keep the people happy? We need to bring a change in this pattern. Parents must support their child when it comes to choosing a life-partner. Its the compatibility that counts. The girl/boy should be given a chance to introduce himself/herself to the other family and win respect and love, highlight the qualities, bond with the family members.

If parents support it, be proud of it, celebrate the wedding, be happy, only then you can convince the other people in the society that such marriages are not a taboo. Mouths would be sealed. By cribbing, crying and making sad faces in public will only invite more trouble and bitter words from the people.

I've seen many such incidences where parents emotionally blackmail their child and force them into a marriage with a person of their choice. Now tell me, who will assure that such a marriage works out fine?  Aren't three lives and their future being put on stake?
Why would you want to push your child into the fire of guilt, sorrow, and restlessness?

I've read in newspapers, about the honor killings in such cases. How can parents get their child murdered just because they love someone from the other community? How gruesome is the act!

So think over it...Especially the Indian readers. What is the guarantee that your child would have a great life with the person just because he belongs to your community? Or is it better to let them tie a knot with someone they know, respect, and love?

Marriage is a sacred institution...Lets not malign it with our baseless arguments and inhuman approach.

Now playing- Kuchh to log kahenge....Logon ka kaam hai kehna....
Chhodo bekaar ki baaton me kahin beet na jaye rainaa....

Yes, I confess..

Do I look like a liar? Would you hate me?

We all lie about one thing or another...we all fake about a few things. We are humans, and its a human tendency. So lets not shy away... I want to tell you few such things about myself.
Hope you enjoy reading my secrets..Well everyone does..Yet another human tendency you know.
  •  I say I don't wanna marry!
Well, that is partly true. I won't marry so soon. Yes, but I do think about that person. Keep on wondering who is he and where he must be?

  • I study because I want to top the exams.
One big lie. I never studied to top the exams. Neither because I was scared of my parents. There was another reason altogether which drove me to study hard and crazy. To impress the guy in my class (who was a different one every year)  on whom I had crush and steal all the attention leaving other girls of my class fuming at me.

  • I'm Miss Goody Good Good!
No, not at all. I can be really bad at times if I get angry. Once I was upset with my classmate as she didn't give me her notes so that I could complete my note-book, inspite of requesting so much.
We had a project wherein we have to sow some seeds of legumes and let them grow into saplings. I fed a  glassful of Coca Cola to her saplings! Her project was destroyed! She got a zero and I didn't get caught.

  • I hate you!
When I say it to you that I hate you, actually  means I had loved you madly at  some point of time in the past.

  • I'm scared of this character called 'Mother -in- Law'
The truth is that I'm not. I just say it to show how allergic I'm to marriages. I mean she would be like my Momma no. Will love me like my Momma does, won't she?

  • I always say it one the face of the person whatever I feel
That's a big lie. I can't speak sometimes. I speak my mind to my best-friend to let out my frustration.

  • When I get late to office I tell my Boss the trains were too crowded, so I waited for the next one
The truth, I woke up late. Thinking about distant future, tossing and turning in my bed and talking to myself in mind in the darkness of the night, it doesn't let me sleep.

  • I can't lie. I get caught.
Well I would call it 'Lie of the year'. I do lie. I'm a perfect liar. I just give an impression to the people and make them believe I can't lie. And when I actually lie, they can't make out.

So, this is all what I could think of... If I am able to recall anything more, I would love to share with you guys.

Wedding bells are ringing...

Hello Buddies..I missed blogging. It has been really long that I wrote my previous post...So here I'm back to blogging!

Mazaak mazaak mein sab log aagaye! Chalo fir ab shuru kartein hain! :p

So talking about stuff related to wedding is on my mind now, as there is a wedding at my place. My next few posts will be about the things related to marriage, my state of mind, thought process and many complex stuff about the bond that I and the concept of marriage share...Its a love-hate relationship...And I'm still unclear which emotion is stronger.

My cousin who got engaged in May is set to get married in January next year. I was kind of shocked...I mean she is younger than me...I'm barely 22...So I kind of freaked out.
And what made me go mad at her and yell at her and taunt her endlessly was the fact that she quit her studies..She studied only till class 12. I was not trying to influence her or anything. Just out of sisterly love, that I wanted a better future for her. She has got a good guy, good in-laws, but creating an own identity working with dedication, and consistency gives a high, an awesome sense of satisfaction. And if you discharge your professional and personal responsibilities and maintaining the perfect balance, what else can be better?

I'm in Mumbai. There must be hustle and bustle at my cousin's place. Shopping, deciding upon design of the wedding cards, gifts for the groom's family, deciding upon the venue and the menu...must be fun..

The fragrance of henna will soon fill the home. Home would be dolled up with marigold and roses. Lights will brighten the atmosphere. Music will cheer up loved ones...Love is in the air...and so are the expectations of my relatives that I too get an interview call from a Momma of an eligible bachelor!

Hey Dude! Stay away!

I'm go to marriages...Fat aunties hover around my Momma & bombard her with questions like,
  • Where is your daughter? 
  • What is her name?
  • How old is she?
  • What she does?
  • How much she earns?
  • There is a guy, you want to meet his family? From Mumbai...Business class...Guy is in America..28 years old...6 feet tall..
Oh My God! Why would I want to marry a Mumbai guy? I don't like this city.

I don't want to leave my family alone and go to USA thousands of miles away, I'm the elder child and want to look after my family..

Ya that's a different thing altogether that my family still looks after me, literally. *LOLZZ*

I don't want a guy this older..and I don't want a giraffe either..I'm 5 feet and 1/2 inch tall for God's sake...exactly that much!

My Momma dearest is the best...She answers each question so tactfully..She knows I don't want to marry so soon. And she supports my decision. She wants to see me doing something big. She is the one who taught me to dream...And my Daddy too supports her. They share similar views when it comes to me.
But Dad sometimes teases me saying he would marry me off after 3 years. I make a scornful face and threaten him that I will run away to Himalayas and become a Sanyasi! Well I am not sure if there are any sanyasis there in the Himalayas.

He laughs it off! *Sighs* No internet and mobile phone network there...Shucks, they know my weakness..
Now I'm really scared to go to my cousin's wedding and this is the only reason...I know Mom will shoo away everyone..But still...I don't like it...

Mom Dad will drag me to marriage. Its my cousin this time. Not some sister of my Aunt's daughter-in-law's uncle's brother-in-law..I hope you got it.. So I gotta go :( I am planning to dress up simple and look dumb. Thank god I have braces and specs already! *Grins*


Why this post is called 'Serendipity'? Its because I got lucky by accident to have a great evening...Read to know how? And why?

It was a Sunday again. I couldn't go home this weekend as I was working on Saturday till 9 pm in office.
Damn my employer...Yes, I mean it. I'm fed up with there policies and practices. Can't take this shit anymore.

So Sunday was much awaited. I could sleep for longer. I really needed a good sleep. My Mom would get shocked and shout the house down if she notices my dark circles. She will endlessly curse the modern technology that keeps her daughter awake till late night. Yes, computers and internet I meant to say.

I slept tension free. I had deactivated the alarm. No worries to get up and rush, it felt so good. I had a pretty slow and relaxing day. Things went on smoothly. I thought I was just another Sunday...What exciting could happen? Anyway I didn't have and strength and energy left to handle something like that...

I didn't eat my breakfast today...I mean who eats breakfast after waking up at 12 noon. I made tea for myself and my roomies. A lot can happen over a cup of coffee, or tea in our case. We turned on the TV. It was 'Kolaveri' again all over the music channels. We let it go on. So, we started with our favorite activity, that is bitching about our landlady!

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Ya, we are naughty girls, we are bitchy sometimes...But we have a valid reason. Our landlady gets bouts or something I guess. She pesters us on tiny things. Asks questions too personal. My roomie who has been staying here since a couple of years now tells us about her previous roomies and what this lady talked to them about. We were shocked to know! She asked the girls about their boyfreinds and their sex lives...telling them about her sexual fantasies...Phooooooo...I was about to vomit...I mean...she is a senior citizen! Its so gross..I know some of you may disagree with my views...But its still gross...atleast for me..
Unmarried...lives alone...we are there but still....we will go away someday like the other girls na...My roomie told us about the romantic affairs she had during her youth and how she separated from her family...and other such aspects of her lives...She had confined in my roomie...But such things are hot topic for discussions...Can't help..Human instincts you know...

Well..we had our lunch and everyone slept..I was busy massaging my thirsty scalp with coconut oil. My hair falling like autumn leaves...followed by a nice hair wash after an hour later...

Now what do I do sitting here alone. These girls will have their own plans as usual. I have nobody here in Mumbai. What a lousy Sunday again. I just hate it. I was thinking I would be staying in alone all I always did..Atleast I won't have to bathe twice then. :p

Then in evening when everyone was up I came to know nobody had plans and were planning to go somewhere. I don't know why my mood was down and I didn't want to go...But after sometime I thought what will I do in this empty house till night? I imagined myself having fun with all 3 of them outside. I announced I too am coming! I managed to get ready in 5 minutes and off we went!

We went on the sea face, from where we got to see this beautiful view of Bandra-Worli Sea-link! It was so serene. We walked along the beach carrying our sandals in hand, our naked feet caressing the soft sand beneath. I felt nice as cool breeze was blowing from towards the sea. We walked a little further towards the sea and sat on the rocks. We went silent as we watched the sea, sky, and the Bandra-Worli Sea-link. We stared continuously at the felt strange looking at the waves, the way they came and went....the way it splashed itself on rocks.  The sound it created. The sound of waves is such relaxing. Its like a divine music for a tired mind like mine. The sea-link looked so gorgeous, a masterpiece of hard work and patience. It looked magnificent. We could also see tiny cars speeding on the sea-link.

We could see from here, the Taj (Not the Taj Palace, this one is another hotel of the group), Leelavati Hospital, and many more famous buildings of significance. They appeared so tiny. We sat till the sun was about to set and the sky had turned orange. We sat there till it grew dark. We started growing hungry. We decided to have pizza for dinner. Only Smokin' Joe's was there on our way back home. No Pizza Hut or Dominoes. I had never been there to Smokin' Joe's. We thought of giving it a try... While we walked back our way, we discussed about innumerable happening and cool places to eat out in Mumbai that one must visit. We decided we would visit a couple of them atleast, in a month. That made us even more hungry, and our tummies to whine annoyingly!

Finally we reached the place and ordered some nice pizzas, garlic bread with cheese and coke! What could be better than this? I ate pizza long long ago, it has been ages! We just hoped it would be fine. Yes, it was good, nice piping hot and spicy! We just digged in! Yummyyyyy! We loved the way the cheese kissed our lips and cheeks too..It is so gratifying...As we got all what we had been longing for..Why bad things are so good????
"Food is the best thing man ever invented!", said my roomie... and we all agreed by nodding and saying 'mmm mmm' :p We continued wiping our nose and sipping coke more frequently as the food was so spicy!

Spicy chicken pizza for my roomies!

Veggie pizza for me!

Garlic bread with cheese

We chatted over the dinner about more famous places, did some more bitching. We wondered what our landlady will think when she returns home and finds none of us there. She would go nuts! She hates it when we girls get along well. Don't know why she is like this.

We walked our way back and had coffee in yet another restaurant. Would you believe it? We had coffee standing outside the restaurant whit enjoying the cool the restaurant was full and many people were waiting outside too. It felt nice..we all did it for the first time...

We soon reached home to find aunty hadn't come yet. We had some more fun teasing each other! We laughed so loud...I had a nice time. It was a beautiful day, that is otherwise boring and hectic, tiresome, full of frustration.

This is what we call serendipity. When one moment you are clueless about something and the other moment you find good times awaiting you...And happiness waiting for you to embraces it...

God always has little surprises for us....atleast  for someone like me...who gets a very little time, and few occassions to go out with friends....who eats alone everyday...So it actually is a big thing for me now a days...And I'm enjoying it...

Yes, I had to bathe twice....Now you know what investigation aunty must have done when she returned?

Of love and lies...- Part 2

For Sahil, the day seemed to pass too slow...He couldn't sleep well that night. He was restless. This was unusual. How restless can a guy become after seeing a girl? Strange...but true. Finally it was dawn. He woke up earlier than usual, got ready and zoomed off on his bike to college. He was there much before-time.
He parked his bike and walked towards the Commerce and Management College in the campus. He had some friends from his Junior College who were now studying Business Management. But meeting old pals was juat an excuse. The only reason Sahil went there was that girl he saw outside the  class the other day.
He wished to see her. To know something about her, atleast the name. He was there to solve the mystery that what was pulling him towards her? Was it love?

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Sahil met his friends after a long time. They were happy to see him. They insisted on going to canteen for a cup of coffee. So off they went to the college canteen. It was a lively place full of young girls and boys, laughing and chatting away, enjoying the food, sharing happy moments...perhaps creating memories that they will look back at after a few years...
They choose a corner table that could accommodate the 7 friends. They ordered coffee and some snacks. Sahil looked uninterested as his mind was still somewhere else...
He looked around at the crowd. Someone again caught his eye. Someone again caged his mind. Someone again numbed his senses making him so vulnerable, unable to think straight.
Soon she left from the canteen too...leaving Sahil on his own again. Sahil too went back to his class after having a good time with his old buddies.

Lectures began. He tried to concentrate. But his mind drifted away somewhere else...
After the lectures he roamed alone for sometime in the college, visited college canteen, with a hope to catch her glimpse. He visited his friends frequently just to see her there. He felt uneasy and painful whenever she suddenly disappeared from his sight. 

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Days passed, weeks passed, Sahil went to the college, he attended the lectures but his eyes were glued outside. He grew restless day by day. He did nothing, till one day when like other days the hopes of sighting her around were almost diminished. How can he not get over her? How can he not get over this feeling?
Is it true love? And not just infatuation?

He couldn't take it anymore....He was in love...indeed!
He finally decided to quit B.Sc and take a transfer to BBM (Bachelor of Business Management)! 
'Was it a joke?', Sahil's parents asked him. He somehow convinced them that he was no more interested in Science and wanted to change the stream. They agreed after all the convincing part. Sahil managed to get an internal transfer from B.Sc to BBM. He was happy...for now he could always have her in front of his eyes.

They were now in the same classroom. Sahil tried his best to concentrate on lectures as he didn't want to let his parents down. He still had that sense of responsibility in himself.

She was there, he saw her and his heart skipped a beat, he was palpitating, and he was still
looking at her, just imagining how beautiful some one can be, though she was sitting far away, and there was no sound he could hear, he just kept on looking at her, for him it was looking at an angel. He noticed the way she talked, he noticed the way she was enlightening the class, he noticed each and every action she did, the time was slipping like fine sand slips from the palms. He was trying his best to capture her in his memories.

As the lectures ended Sahil rushed out seeking her, and there she was standing with other girls, the centre of attraction, the apple of everyone's eye He stopped, and stood nearby with his friends, with his eyes still glued on her. Until now there was no such idea in his mind that she should be in his life. He imagined, is this real or just a fantastic dream he was having. But soon she started moving towards the street, and he could no do anything but to watch her go away again. She took a cab and went away, taking away all the happiness he had all this time looking at her.

But this time he had her, in his memories, the sweet memories. He rushed home and went to sleep with a stupid idea of having her in his dreams! How stupid is that? But actually when he felt asleep, he entered a world of imaginations, he saw her in his dreams, very closely, till he was woken up. Now his life was taking a sharp turn, from absolute emptiness to a world full of happiness!

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